It’s funny when you sit down and think about all the stuff that has happened in your life. Memories flash before your eyes, you re-watch those same people come and go. Just sitting here thinking about a lot of stuff. A year ago, I would not have thought I would be where I am now. No where near. I was dating my ex a year ago, hell I was dating my ex five months ago. I was with him for two years. I thought it was a forever thing and then I began to realize the differences between us. Him and I were completely two different people, as people should be. We did want some of the same things. Some. But I thought that was good that we had different opinions about things.
I want kids. I want tattoos. I want my kids to make the choice whether OR not they want to follow a certain religion and if they want to be baptized. I want to be able to drink and smoke (if I want to). I want to be able to do my own thing, not have to ask. I want to hang out with my friends. I want to go to parties if need be. I want to be opinionated. I want to curse like a sailor if I feel like it. I want to go to college for as long as I want. I want to have a career. I want to do as I please without being looked at like I am crazy. I want to do crazy things and have someone beside me while I do them. I want to laugh, all the time. I want to smile and it be genuine.
That’s all I really wanted. That’s all I have ever wanted. He did not want those things. He was all work and no play. He did not enjoy going out. He did not like my friends. He did not like that I wanted tattoos. He did not like my attitude or my opinions. He did not like that I was spiritual and not religious. He did not like that I wanted kids and wanted to let them make their own decisions when it came to it.
Well, I did not like how he wanted me to change.
I am who I am for a reason. God made me this way, I made me this way. No one else should get to decide what I do, who I am, or who I want to be.
He ended it because, overall, he did not get his way. Looking back, it still bothers me, all of it does. I still do not understand what he saw that was so wrong about me. I like being different, I like being original. I like being who I am regardless of how others view me.
I like who I am and you know what? Adam likes me for who I am. In my eyes, those are the only two things that matter.