I do not know what began my thought process, but whatever it is, I wish it would stop. It’s one in the morning, on a Wednesday, and I know I need to go to bed but all I can do is sit here and sulk. I know, I should fucking ‘suck it up buttercup’ and be a damn woman, but for once I just want to be upset and let my feelings flow. And of course, this is the only place I will put how I truly feel because I cannot put this on others, especially because they most likely won’t understand. I’ve just been sitting here thinking and I miss the hell out of Adam. What is upsetting me is that I wish that him and I could be like typical people our age. In school and working and just being together all the time. I wish he was here. I miss him so much that it’s pulling on my heart strings. I envy my friends that see and talk to their boyfriend every day. I envy my friends that live with their boyfriends, I would love to be in their shoes with Adam. I love the hell out of this boy, but dammit does this suck. I do not want to be with anyone else. I will endure all that I have to so I can stay with Adam, but sometimes I just wish our circumstances were different. I just want to be with him right now. I have been crying, just for reasons, and I want him to hold me and just tell me it will be okay. But he’s not here to do that. I know it will be okay. I just miss him and it is driving me crazy. I want to be in his arms and give him kisses. I want to tell him I love him, to his face. He has been gone for about a week and I’m this upset… If this is not love then I do not want to find out what love is. I’ll keep what I have with Adam if that’s the case.