Anything worth keeping…

I have not exactly been myself this week. My emotions feel like they are hold. Today, Adam graduates from ITB then he will be off to his PDS. I just miss him and worry about him. I am so proud of him. I cannot wait till I see him again. I feel so weak when it comes to him being far away, but I guess that’s normal and I guess that’s okay. I have friends to hold me together, I just have to let them be there for me, even though I hate leaning on people. I feel like I have to be so strong whether or not people expect me to be.

A few hours later…

Anything worth keeping is worth fighting for. Obtaining things is never easy. Loving someone who will be close to 4,000 miles away was never something I thought I would be doing, but it is sure something I am embracing. I think the saying, “if you love someone, set them free,” is complete bullshit. I do not live by that saying and I never will. I have “loved” before and I believed in that saying at one point but I realized something: the people who I let go/set ‘free’, were supposed to leave my life. I know I am stubborn and hard-headed. I know I bottle up my feelings way too much. I also know that I need to work on it and I will. I want this relationship, with all the hardships and all the damn phone calls that end way too quickly. My one and only is always on the go, from Texas to California, now to Hawaii. This guy sure keeps me on my toes. I cannot wait to see Adam again. I hate not being able to hug him, kiss him, hold his hand and him. It sucks. I want the next three and a half years to fast forward. I just want him by my side. I want my future to be with him, to marry him, to someday have children with him. I have always been freaked out when people started talking about my future. If I dated someone and anyone mentioned marriage, I would always dismiss the conversation. Everything is so much different with Adam. I love it. I love him. I do not want this to go any other way. I have him, I’ll deal with all the crap. As long as he treats me right and loves me, I’ll always be his.


About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in military love, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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