Today, one of my friends from high school posted on my fb wall. The post was mainly about how my friend admires the person I am, she pointed out that I stand up for yourself, and that I know what I deserve. She also told me: “Your relationship with Adam makes me the happiest and I applaud you two. It takes a great amount of strength to be apart from someone you love. I have never experienced such a separation, but I know I wouldn’t be able to therefore I admire your strength.” It was one of the sweetest posts I have ever received, it made me for a split second feel better about a lot of things.
My mind ruins everything. My thought process sucks. I do not feel strong at all at the moment. I just want to lay down and cry, I am tired of crying, but I know I will be crying on and off for quite sometime. Adam gives me grief for worrying about him. It is hard not to worry about someone you love.. The word deployment upsets me and it scares me. I automatically think of ALL the bad things that could happen and then I cry some more. I have a weak spot for Adam, he’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just want him next to me, but I do not get that opportunity. Being strong sucks.