Six

Once again I have realized why I have lost quite a few friends in the past year or so. It is interesting how much a person can change in such a little amount of time. Whether it is the fact that maybe I changed or that my so-called “friends” have changed, that does not matter. Either way, one of us has started living a way that the other does not like. After high school, your friends cut down. You drift away from people or you become closer to others. People’s personalities change along with their lifestyles. The people I remained friends with after high school surprised me, it surprised me even more when they became people I no longer knew. My aunt was telling me that you have different friends for each stage of your life, there are very few people you will have in each stage, but if you have them and they are worth it then you have to keep them for as long as you and them permit. With some of my friends I haven’t actually had to try to keep them, we leave each others lives and somehow come back to one another.

  • I have had Zacharias in my life since we were in Kindergarten, the fact that we can go through hell and back, hating each other and not talking for the longest time but then jump back to caring about one another, it astonishes me. I cannot stand the dude, but he has always been in my life through all the shit. I know I talk badly about him but damn I know he has talked some shit about me and overall, I am okay with that. He is always going to be my Zachy even if he finds another point in our lives to hate me again.
  • Nikki and I were friends in elementary. When we got to middle school, I was not a good friend at all to her, it got better in high school. I am surprised she is still here, but she is and that is all that matters. She is a sister to me. I want her to be my best friend literally forever. She is my glue that holds me together. She helped me become the person I am today, and I owe her my life.. 
  • Connor literally jumped into my life one summer at the swimming pool and I have been stuck with him since, we started our friendship pretty rocky but we have managed to keep it together. There are times where I feel I cannot have him in my life any longer but then I realize he pretty much is my little brother. He annoys the hell out of me and there are times where I want to kill him, but if I did I would miss him. I love my little brudder.
  • Amanda and I met because of Zach, she dated him in middle school…and a lot of times after that. When I first met her, I was intimidated by her, then I got to know her. She helped me through a lot, especially talking me through my relationships. She helped me become stronger. She is someone I will always confide in. Even though her and I are going on completely different paths in life, we still keep in contact and talk each other through some major points in our lives.
  • Zoe and I did not originally plan to be friends at all in middle school, it just happened. We were close throughout those years, we got to high school and remained close, after we graduated we stopped talking until a few months before she decided to enlist into the Marines. I was her support system again like I had always done when we were in school. I was the one who stood up for her when people said she couldn’t do it. Her and I are completely two different people now compared to how close we were in middle school. There are times where I do not know where my sweet Zoe has gone, but I will stand by her until she gives me a reason not to. 
  • When Adam first came to LISD, I was not close to him. I think Zoe was at Daniel’s house and somehow coaxed me into going over there to hang out. Adam was there. I have no idea how things happened the way they did.. But after that day I knew I wanted Adam in my life, even if it was only friendship. Which is how it played out throughout our high school years. I lost contact with him once we graduated, we talked a few times on fb, but did not really get close again until this previous year. I am so glad we did. I am glad I went working out with him and Kristian. I am glad about a lot of things that, looking back, aren’t exactly worth mentioning anymore, because NOW matters more than the past ever did. I am so happy with Adam, I want him to be in my life forever. My boyfriend or not, but I sure as hell prefer having him as mine ❤ 

Along the way for the past three years after high school, I have lost some people who I was very close to. I confide in people who in the end, did not care about me anymore. Males and females who were supposed to be friends disappeared off the planet when I needed them most. I found out that some only wanted things from me. Others just liked knowing what was going on with me so when they hung out with others, they had something to talk about. Adam gives me grief because I’m “not making friends”. Well, I am content with who I have. I do have other friends, plenty on campus, but it is different. I do not trust those people with my life. The friends I listed above and spoke about, I would do anything for. I’d risk my life for them, I will love them until the world stops spinning. If I am not friends with them later on in life, there would be a reason, but I will always care for these people. They will always have a place in my heart and in my soul. 

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About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in ranting, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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