Late night thoughts

If I were to ever lose you, I know it would be all my fault. It seems to be every time I convince myself and let myself stop feeling so scared of loving you, something happens. Whether or not it is my fault, we fight. I get that horrible tearing my heart out feeling, like I am going to lose you completely. I never want to lose you. I do not want to fight, but I know that it is “okay” to. People who are in relationships that never fight, are not dealing with the real deal. I have let myself love, but never fully. You have turned my world upside down. I never thought I would get the chance to love you, now I have you, and I never want to let go. I hate where you are, but I love that you’re mine. Missing someone makes the heart grow fonder, I am pretty damn sure I am fond of you at this point. I do not want us to post our problems of facebook, Mister “Be-Glad-You-Called-I-Was-About-To”… I don’t want that, I want us to work out our problems. I want to tell each other everything. I get so scared of telling you exactly what I think or feel because I do not want to jeopardize our relationship. I need you more than you think or expect. I am not an “I’m Sorry” kind of person, but I feel so bad when I upset you or piss you off. I wish I was in front of you, to fix everything I do wrong. To hold you and kiss you, and hold on even if you pull away. I miss you and I love you. 

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About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in military love, ranting, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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