More wishful thinking.

It is interesting how life plays out.
I have said that many times before, but it is always true. A year ago, I would not have pictured myself where I am now. I would not picture myself sitting here, thinking these thoughts that are always on my mind. I grow everyday, my opinions change constantly, and I love entirely. It is a strange feeling to me, unknown, uncommon. I am not used to how I feel. When I talk, I do not hear the same person that I used to be which is not a bad thing, at all. I like the person I am now, and the person I am forever becoming. It does not matter how old someone is, they are always changing. Moving forward and going somewhere. Even if that place is not in sight at the moment. I have never been ‘head over heels’ for someone. I have thought I was before, but looking back, I know better now. It unsettles me. I question the future and the outcome. I do not know what stepping stones I will have to take to get where I want, and I still do not know completely what I want out of life. Well, besides the typical things, of course. Marriage, children. The never ending story of: you grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, and have children. That was always my dream, or it was everyone else’s pushed upon me, but that is what I want. I know who I want to be with for those days on end of chaos until the end. I hope he wants the same. I know he says so, but just watching it unravel and happen, that is what will show me that he wants all of that with me. Words, they are hard to deal with, to follow through with. People can promise a million things and never go through with it. They change their minds and poof, the next moment, everything you imagined has disappeared before your eyes. I just want someone to prove me wrong about all men. Not even all men actually. I just want someone to prove to me wrong about everyone. I know the someone, and I do not believe he will let me down. I know I ask for a lot. It is a girl’s flaw to want so much, to hope, and wish for things that may or may not ever happen. It is not a crime to dream though.


About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in military love, ranting, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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