I keep thinking if I drown myself in music, in lyrics, that maybe I will feel better. Maybe all the problems and thoughts that flood my mind will just go away. I am tired. Of quite a bit. I am tired of being strong. I want to go back to school, focus of my education, job. I want to go to a party and drink away these bad feelings, but I can’t. I am so tired of feeling so fucking alone. I am trying to get over that, but I got to used to having people around. Now, I have no one here with me. I bottle up everything because I am tired of pulling people down with me. I am tired of crying myself to sleep. And those who try to talk to me about my feelings, I push them away, there is not a point of trying. Nothing they say will make me feel better. The one person who could fix everything can’t, doesn’t, won’t. I guess I am the only one who enjoys talking on the phone. I’m tired of dropping everything when you want to talk, but you don’t do the same. It hurts. I get it, You wanna do your own shit. But I’m the one waiting.. every night, and every day.

“I’m sorry” only goes so far.


About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in military love, ranting, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

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