I keep thinking if I drown myself in music, in lyrics, that maybe I will feel better. Maybe all the problems and thoughts that flood my mind will just go away. I am tired. Of quite a bit. I am tired of being strong. I want to go back to school, focus of my education, job. I want to go to a party and drink away these bad feelings, but I can’t. I am so tired of feeling so fucking alone. I am trying to get over that, but I got to used to having people around. Now, I have no one here with me. I bottle up everything because I am tired of pulling people down with me. I am tired of crying myself to sleep. And those who try to talk to me about my feelings, I push them away, there is not a point of trying. Nothing they say will make me feel better. The one person who could fix everything can’t, doesn’t, won’t. I guess I am the only one who enjoys talking on the phone. I’m tired of dropping everything when you want to talk, but you don’t do the same. It hurts. I get it, You wanna do your own shit. But I’m the one waiting.. every night, and every day.
“I’m sorry” only goes so far.