How does my family deals with problems?
We either yell it all out, no sympathy, only rage OR we hold it all in, no expression, we do not talk about the problems. We just let it sit there, we either hold onto it or we completely drop it.
The two different ways of handling problems are the two different ways my sides of the family handles things. My mother’s side is ruthless, mean, and unforgiving. They will hold grudges till the day that someone or they die. It is ridiculous. I partake in the absolute anger, but I try my hardest not to hold grudges because I have witnessed what it does to them. My dad’s side, not including my father, tend to be more forgiving. They hold in their problems, or they tell you what happened/what you did, then they drop it. I mentioned it and now I do not want to talk about it anymore. My father’s side in a way is more reasonable, but we have quite a few health issues from not expressing our feelings which I know first hand.
I am an angry person, I say what I have to say, and then that’s it. I do not want an apology because apologizes are bullshit. Someone says they are sorry, but then they go right back to doing the same shit they did before. I just want action. I want you to fix what you did wrong, that is why after I have addressed the subject and/or problem, I drop it. I just want to see what you do next. I do not want to fight. I just want it fixed.
Holding in my feelings, it literally hurts my body and it sucks, but I am tired of expressing things when it just does not do anything anymore.