different opinions

Adam’s mom made a post the other day  on one of the fb pages we are a part of and it bothered me. Her post was about her oldest son. He has been recently deployed and she was posting to vent about how she is upset that he apparently does not miss his family as much as his wife and children. That really got under my skin because when someone gets married and has children, that is their  family, new or not. They will always care for their parents, etc, but what she said is not fair. Her son is a grown man, he has his OWN family. I do not know what she expects out of her children, but being that I am with Adam, I do not feel like this matter will end well. I am not around my family a lot, and personally I do not want to live close enough to Adam’s parents where they will always have a say in our life. I do not want them over 24/7, I could not live with them either. I am a different type of person than they are, my family is not close. Visiting every once in a while is great, but nothing more, not every week, definitely not every day. That is just something I do not do and I do not think his mom is going to be happy with mine and Adam’s relationship, or at least with me later on. Of course Adam is going to miss his parents, etc but eventually we are going to have our own family for him and I to care about and I expect him to care about us a bit more than his family one day, I know I will… That is just expected in every relationship… Or so I thought. It just seems to me that Adam’s mother has not accepted that her children have to live their own lives which worries me about her expectations of Adam. I do not want to start conflicts, but I just do not agree with her thought process. I get it, I do, she misses her children, but thinking that way about it is just very unfair. Children grow up, they become adults, they are supposed to start their own lives, move out, leave, and make a family of their own and have their children. Let the same process happen all over again. That is just how it works…. You cannot stop time. You cannot stop your children from growing up and being their own person. They are not going to always be around. They have to have their own room to grow and flourish.


July 31st update: I had this post on private because it was a venting moment and I was unsure if Adam saw it by chance, how he would react to me talking this way towards his mom.

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About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
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