drowning

I hate feelings this way, I hate feeling sick. I hate feeling like locking myself in my room and avoiding the world, which is pretty much what I am doing right now. I think I am just done with everything. I seriously just want to go home and give up. I do not want to be here anymore, I just want to be with my boyfriend. I literally don’t give a shit about anything else anymore. Maybe it is just stress that is getting to me, I have no fucking clue. I keep getting ulcers, I keep feeling horrible, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I was told to get more sleep, well I am trying to do that but it is hard when I have to maintain a long distance relationship with an five hour difference. Do I sleep or talk to my love that I feel like I rarely get to talk to anyway? Do I maintain my friendships or my grades? I fucking think of that stupid triangle that says “pick two” and your options are: sleep, friendships, or grades. With how life is going, I don’t know if I can maintain any of those because I also added my relationship, work, and wanting to be healthy to that list. I am fucked either way, or so it seems. I keep piling more and more crap on myself and all it is doing is pulling me down. I feel like I am drowning. I just want to stay in my room and not do anything anymore. I don’t know what I am going to do this summer, I do not want to go home……. I do not want to go back to Dallas….. Fuck.

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About maybemiranda

21. Wife. Student.
This entry was posted in home, Life, military love, ranting, relationships, school, work. Bookmark the permalink.

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