Ah, what a horrible week I’ve encountered.
Best part was when my sister bitched me out for going and visiting my grandfather the Wednesday before he passed away. My mother and I knew we wanted to visit him and went more on a whim than anything, but hey- since I don’t tell my sister every move. I am the bad person once again.
My only problem is, my sister is a 36 year old woman, who could have made the decision to visit him herself, but she didn’t. She has nothing to do with either me or my mother or my grandfather beforehand, well except when she needs me to babysit for her, yet I should I have told her about us visiting my grandfather when she could have gone on her own with her husband and my grandmother (my grandfather’s ex-wife, who also has nothing to do with my mother and I).
My ‘sister’ keeps texting me mean worded texts, but I am not going to respond. I am tired of her always talking to me like I am beneath her. I am tired of always being mistreated and used by her and my grandmother. I have been verbally abused by them since I was old enough to know what a curse word was and I cannot take it anymore. I have been guilt-tripped when I had nothing to feel guilty about, like in this instance. I do not know how but my sister has always been able to say things to make me breakdown, to hurt me, to make me feel like the smallest person on this planet even though nothing she says is true. I just want her to love me, that’s all I have ever wanted, but I have never felt that from her. To have someone tear me down constantly, the pain and fear of rejection will never go away…
If this is what her and my grandmother consider family treatment, then I do not want to be a part of their family anymore and I won’t be. I apologize on end over every little thing because of how I was treated by them, because I did everything wrong and they made me feel like or made me apologize for anything and everything.
I do not understand why they are this way. I do not know who made them this way, but I cannot take it any longer and I do not want to become like them because of the way they’ve treated me. I am better off staying away from it. I have to stay away from them like poison.