“A daughter without a father is a sad scenario that I wish did not exist.
I wish I could wish it away. Not just for me, but for every girl out there who feels incomplete.
For every girl out there who has grown up never really understanding how to love or trust a man.
As human beings, we learn through experience. In my experience, fatherless daughters are the loneliest of creatures. Sad beyond belief. Empty. Broken. We are left always feeling something is missing from our lives. I am left feeling very lonely and very insecure. I’m left feeling unworthy of love.
I often think to myself, if my own father didn’t love me enough to stick around… to fight for me, to fight to be a part of my life as my mother pushed him out the door, then it seems obvious that I am unworthy of love. I wish my mother could have known that her lies would mentally screw me up forever.”
I quote this from a post I read today, What It’s Like To Be A Fatherless Daughter
The thing that struck me was the beginning of the post, how I related to it completely, that another girl knew my pain, that I’m not the only one with a tale similar to this one. Lying is a horrible thing to do to a child. As much as I like venting. I will not post the lack of truths between my mother, father, and I. I am pretty sure I have before, but some stories get old.
Life is just different now and so disappointing overall.
I would love to be able to leave here, and not look back for a while. I want to be able to miss home, even though it hasn’t felt like home in such a long time. I have a different home now, he is ~3,700 miles away and I cannot wait to see him again and to feel complete. One day, I will have an actual place I can call home with Adam and it won’t be perfect but it will be so much better than anything I will ever experience.